My struggles continue.................

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Cooking Tom this morning. Monday is travel to Edmonton day.

Put the stripper header on the combine, picked up a hopper of wheat that tested 18.9. Dry is 14.3%. High yielding but low quality - seems there is some frost damage. Peas almost done drying so with luck get the wheat going. Showed Jesse the art of the stripper header as well. It will be HUGE to know he is combining when I am getting treatment weather permitting.

The harness for the hand was simple and so beneficial. Why didn't I do this months ago and saved myself a lot of pain. Half the meds of normal last night. Trying the charcoal bandages, seems to have made a big difference too. Now I won't have to worry about small children running in terror when I come in olfactory range! The hand I can best describe as going from a grape to a raisin - it is that wrinkled.

Aidan came with me to the farm yesterday as well. Went shopping with mom and then helped dad and Jesse unplug an auger. The best moments for him next to time with me I believe.

So am I thankful this year? The most of any Thanksgiving ever I'd say. I'm still the luckiest guy alive!

Cheers,

Garry
 

Riley P

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It's been quite a while since I've been on the forum last. My heart goes out to you Garry. What an incredible trial but absolutely amazing to read how you put it into perspective. I'm not sure if you're tiring of people saying how inspirational you are or if you think they may be just being polite, but Garry, it's absolutely true. I know I am waiting with held breath to hear how the tumors are doing and am waiting to rejoice with you when we hear the cancer has lost its fight and is dying off. I enjoy reading all of it and really enjoy the parts about how the farm and fields are doing. Keep up the good fight sir. This cancer has picked the wrong person to mess with.
 
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Good morning Riley,

So back from my 2nd IPI treatment on Wednesday in Edmonton. Nothing concrete yet. The doctor said that seeing signs after 20 days would be highly unusual. I have 12 mega large tumors that are showing signs on their tops that something is amiss though. But not the smaller pinkie nail sized ones - 30 to 40 of those. If the IPI does work he expects they will just flatten out and be absorbed. So Now week 3 to 6 begins.

Wow that device to suspend my arm is working jus amazing! Not only is my hand sort of a wrinkly old bag now but the wrist to elbow is smaller and elbow to shoulder is smaller as well. I talked with the doctor and clinical study nurse about this and also the rehab people whose traditional approach is a compression sleeve for the limb in question - and I have tried them and they didn't work for me. I said that elevating is the wrong word, suspension is what lymphedema suffers need to try.

Pain is much worse, I hope from tumors dying though once again the doctor would not commit. But he did say that unlike most people whose say they have pain, what I have is "real pain".

It stinks the worst ever too. Maybe all that dead tissue dying off and liquifying? A guy can dream!

While I have been trying too limit my oxy use to 40 mg/day I was at 60 which I thought was the daily limit maximum. He told be to stop pissing around and go to as high as 120. He said that as this is being taken for pain and not to get high I should have no problems with addiction. I hope he is right. I took 10 at 6 am and another 5 at 8 but it is still pulsating/throbbing badly.

I had a wonderful time with mom again. I hate the cancer but love the time it gives mom and I together.

Snow in Edmonton when we arrived on Monday, lots actually. Those poor guys with swathed crops may be screwed until spring. Note here people - straight cut!

Arrived back at the farm 12:30. Dad and Jesse just leaving to try combining - they got off 15 - 1600 bu more wheat. Acre by acre!

Snow and rain here overnight. BUT...…...5 tomorrow and the next 5 days 11to 13! Hope we might pull this off, well my wheat and standing canola anyway. Dad against my advice swathed his.

Some parenting problems. Last Sunday Aidan had a fit in the morning, claiming when I went down stairs there was nothing to eat. I gave him a list of what there was and he rejected everything so I told him to go to his moms place which he did. Came back two hours later. Suppertime came and he had something I had suggested for lunch! Then while it was the long weekend and he was to be with me until Monday 8 am or 3:30 pm since it was a school holiday, after supper he wanted to go to his moms again. Out of gaming time with me apparently. I told him he could no go, he said he could and left.

Monday morning I texted him and told him this is a house with rules and if he could not abide by them not to come back. I emailed his mom as well about his electronics addiction and how I feel about it.

Thursday neither had replied and 5:30 when volleyball practice was over he never showed up. It hurt but I have to stand my ground about what is expected of him here and if he can't tow the line it is the current point where my sanity come first. His mom just has to parent 1/2 time. I have to do that plus try to farm 55 km away and struggle with cancer. It was the point of self preservation for me, I was tired of fighting with him about this all the time. Sure can't wait to see his first report card now...………

Thanks for letting me unload again!

Cheers,

Garry
 

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Someday he will look back and understand Garry. It’s just not today is all. I’m confident you will be with him when the day comes.

Keep going Pal.

D
 

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Some news to finally share.

It "looks" like I'm in. An email but not specific sayin I'm in, but that they will call today as they are booking Sept 20/21st. I showed it to my gf and mom and they agree with my interpretation though!

Wow. On top of this will I be lucky enough to get into the group that gets the needle as well?

I have to admit that I am excited.

At the same time when I see my lead doctor next week I'm going to bring up the subject of amputation again. If the treatment doesn't work and if that is all they can offer me then I want the arm removed. It is painful on a daily basis (the worse I can remember yesterday), takes 2 plus hours a day to wrap and treat and I'm also not sure if they will continue my imiquimod prescription or not.

I don't know how bad the pain will be for the most part when the cancer attacks my internal organs but I want to try to have as much comfort as I can when in the end game. I think, at this point, I'd rather have no arm pain and no arm. I hate to ask but any amputation people out there who could shed some light?

Hopefully more news later today!

Cheers,

Garry
A car friend of mine, in his sixties, had endless infection problems in the lower part of his one leg. He finally had enough and had the leg amputated and uses a prosthesis leg. He said that it was the best thing he could have done and has no regrets. Another older friend, in his early 80s had a leg removed, again, just below the knee when he was about 7. If they didn't take it off, the infection would eventually kill him. Similar problems for both guys. He never looked back and gets around fine. Just a couple of positive examples.
 
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some days my wife wants me to get my leg removed,




oh wrong conversation sorry
 
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Feeling pretty good. Worst pain ever yesterday morning but medicated up and got through it. Went to the farm in late afternoon. Weather looks amazing for the next week so I'll try to combine today.

Got a email back from Aidan's mother - I was thunder struck:

"Hi Garry,
Sorry for the delayed response I don't check this email very often.
Yes I remember Aidan coming to our house complaining that he wanted snack food (chips,pop etc) while he watched Netflix at your house and I gave him the chips. He was mad about the password and in quite a mood over his gaming. He said he was bored and doesn't know what to do when he is not gaming.
The swearing and yelling while playing his games gets super annoying, and it does seem to be getting worse. We've told him if he swears one more time that's it, no more xbox. I think it's an adrenaline rush so everything else is boring when he's not gaming.
Yet I believe he is using gaming as an outlet to deal with emotional issues going on his life. The games provide an escape from reality and he likes talking to his online friends. I know that is no excuse though for being disrespectful.
But I know teens have hormonal issues and he can't always control his emotions.
I think it would be good for him to talk to a therapist through Colin's work.but he says he doesn't need counselling.
I agree we need to curtail the gaming or at least have guidelines in place. At least volleyball is a good outlet that doesn't involve electronics. It is not uncommon for teens to turn to drugs and alcohol when going through emotional issues so at least gaming is the better of 3 evils.
I can't imagine how hard it must be dealing with these issues when you are struggling to get through every day. I have told Aidan he needs to be supportive. I think if it is adding more stress to you Aidan can come here and we'll try our best to get him doing something besides gaming. I think we should give him more jobs to do and pay him as he is motivated by saving money for a new controller. I said if he wants a controller he had to work for it.
Anyways right now you're number one concern is looking after yourself as you said. Let us know if you need us to help with anything,
Take care
Tracey"

How stunned do you think I was? Wow I did not see something that positive and supportive coming.

My last surgeon can't do the amputation so my oncologist is going to make arrangements, hopefully at the same time as the 3rd or 4th IPI treatments. It is not a slam dunk by any means and they want to be sure that it will help me and not make things worse. Fair enough.

Gave me a powder to sprinkle on my arm - the stench is gone. Amazed this stuff works so good.........

Weather looks out of this world good for the next week and I hope to combine by noon!

Cheers,

Garry
 

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Thank goodness for small blessings Garry. Sounds like your ex is getting it and acting like the boys mother first and foremost. That’s a good thing and it would be pleasing to read and know. She’s got your back and wants to do the right thing.
The kid will get through it but it’s got to be hard for him to be wondering if he’s losing his Dad. A bit of drama from him only makes sense. Pretty tough reality for a teen.
You will prevail and show him what real determination can do.
Thanks for sharing Garry. You have a ton of people wishing they could drive a combine about now.
D
 

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Many have a story to tell and a cross to bear. Stay strong, have faith and never give up.
 
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Less expensive than therapy too let me say! I wish more people would feel comfortable to speak, you guys have been such a great help to me this go-round. Heck even my ex emailed me again last night! I guess it isn't the Oxy after all, I'm not dreaming.

Another 3 acres combined yesterday. Moisture off the chart, maybe 30%! Stopped combing as a result.

Dad hit my arm by accident while we were working on installing the 2nd stripper header on the 8820 - pain through the roof, blood and ooze everywhere. Returned home, suspended the arm and rested, hopefully combine today. Fantastic weather, +11 yesterday and 30 to 50 km winds - harvesting weather and looks to last until Sunday!

Cheers,

Garry
 

Keith Tedford

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I may have mentioned before but a friend with severe leg pain from MS had pain killers weren't working any more. CBD oil from cannabis worked a miracle in four days and he has been good for a year with it. About one tenth the cost too. Apparently, it doesn't work for everyone but worth a try.
 
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Good morning Keith,

My first Z06 drive in 5 or 6 weeks last night! Driveway pretty good but arm sore after the drive.

Yes, my gf and I have talked about the oil. At the moment I'm going to continue to use the Oxy but maybe I'll talk with my doctor about trying some.

Combined another 3 acres yesterday. 21.8% so we'll bring the second combine out today and see what we can do. The dryer picked yesterday to have a number of belts fail along with an electronic motor but dad and Jesse should have that all taken care of.

Cheers,

Garry
 
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Good morning,

So all the wheat is done! I had some plugged manifolds on part of what I seeded, 2 of 6 manifolds, so for a chunk of the field I was only seeding 67% of it. Even so it yielded 55 bu/ac which for this year I am very happy with.

We started Dad's soybeans, very poor but our first time growing them on just 20 ac so we'll finish that this morning and then switch to the straight cut header and try my standing canola. You can't use the stripper header on canola.

Arm still pretty painful but I make my drive on the low rate of Oxy then increase it when I am in the field. Weather look pretty good, maybe two more weeks? Then back to focusing on my son and health. Maybe a few more Z06 drives yet!

Cheers,

Garry
 

Keith Tedford

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A friend has MS and has had good luck for the past year with the cannabis CBD oil in stopping the pain in his legs.
 

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Hey Garry. Just got back from hunting camp so had some catch-up reading to do. Wow. What a positive letter from your ex. Like all your friends here, she also understands what your going through. Chin up my friend. You got this thing covered. The boy will come around as well. Gotta be tough for one so young to understand the stress you are going through with the cancer and trying to run a farm. Thanks goodness for the people around you and the help farming. Even if they do pick up the stray rock... ;)

Nice weather forecast for several days now. Combines are running around here but I think some are hedging their bets for enough warm weather to maybe delay a bit and soften the propane bill for the dryers... Time will tell.

Happy belated Thanksgiving as well. Glad you had a good one. We had ruffed grouse out in the boonies for our Thanksgiving dinner bird...lol...

Later,
Eric
 
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Good evening Eric,

Sounds like you've been having a nice time!

Yes, the letter from the councillor made a lot of sense and explains why the school only contacted me. Aidan actually texted tonight looking for his volleyball team jersey and would I bring it over. I told him it was in his bedroom but I was not going to bring it to him, he could come and get it. An hour later he came to the door, my gf answered it and gave it to him, he never asked how I was doing. Going to be a long road.

Finished the soybeans this afternoon, a real wreck, Dad didn't get his seed back!

Started the canola. Straight cutting it. Looks to be a good crop but I need to set the combine better, tomorrow's job.

Much pain today, to the point I may have to ask mom to drive me from now on.

Oddly on the grain dryer front, the natural gas flow stopped two days ago. Dad is trouble shooting it. Canola sample was down to 11% but I also need a crush done so I can see the grade - some problems in this area...…………

Cheers,

Garry
 
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wow your wheat went 50+ , finished mine 2day did about 30 and just hitting the dry mark 14.5 - 15. Neighbors rape, I mean canola was 8.8 % yesterday. But just north of me guys haven't started yet , probably some snow laying around yet. I was in Lloyminster 2 days ago and in one parking lot the snow pile was as big as your combine. Weather looks good in the forecast so keep threshing Garry.
 
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Good morning!

The weather does look good for at least the next week. So if the crush is good we surge along.

I think I'll have to get mom to come and get me though. The drive home sort of scared me. Bad enough I'm not up to par but worse if I end up hurting someone else.

Wow that sound like a lot of snow there still. But for some reason we're looking at highs almost twice normal, 13-14 degrees. It freezes overnight which means we have to wait for the frost to burn off but then away we go.

The wheat yield was good even with the missed areas. The canola looks good in the part of the field I've seen. Maybe 40 bu/ac plus? That would be a nice surprise indeed!

Cheers,

Garry
 

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Keep going Garry. Even though this Suburban-Vetter doesn't know half of whatever it is that you guys are talking about, the conversation is interesting and definitely a blessed fork-in-the-road, even if it is temporarily away from the norm of topic when you are not in the fields. Frank1.jpg
My vision of Garry in the Field ...

Frank_Chasing_McQueen.jpg
Garry chasing a Suburban "Corvette'r" or sort
 
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