I've been wanting to write this since Thursday but just didn't have the energy.
I had a PET scan on Wednesday in Edmonton. Compared to the one done in June the tumors have gotten larger thus they are stopping treatment with the immunotherapy drug PEMBRO.
They also wanted to stop with the lotion imiquimod but as I have no doubt it is working on some of the tumors I want to continue. For the moment we are going to.
Now I don't know why this has so devastated me but it has. I haven't had much confidence that the PEMBRO was ever working and was very surprised when they actually authorized the last 4 treatments to be honest with you. If it had been working then I wouldn't have expected to see any new tumors and over the past few months there have been a few new ones.
However things are not over yet.
I have applied for a clinical trial and hope to hear today if I will be a candidate. 4 treatments, no more, no less, every three weeks in Edmonton and I'll have to spend two days at a time there. Oddly this treatment is considered to be more effective for former PEMBRO patients, but we're still talking about 20 to at the outside 40% effective.
They will also treat one tumor on 50% of the patients but I do not know if I will be in that group or not.
The plus, and a big plus, if it does work, this is one of the few drugs that the FDA has permitted the use of the word "cure" rather than "remission" to be used.
I'll have to stop the imiquimod if I get into the trial which I am not excited about but the price to be paid for another long shot. I worry if the treatment doesn't work the tumors running rampant for three months.
As well, there may be another long shot trial in Toronto that I might be able to apply for after this one.
I'm worried but not as freaked out as I might have been. I went through my "God I don't want to die" when I had cancer 11 years ago, so mentally I'm not in as bad a position as I could be.
But there is some apprehension that this could be my swan song...……………….
I appreciate that I can vent here and for all your support, sorry but I need it a while longer yet!
Cheers,
Garry