billy bob and the trooper.

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Little Bruce
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married,
so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and
I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
"Well , Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,
"In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies,
"Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and
I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.

"Well , Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question.
What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"


Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little sh!t is cute...
 
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F5CEFFC1-FF63-4122-8A8A-CDE9150388A6.jpeg
 
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New C5er said:

'OLD' IS WHEN....
Your sweetie says
'Let's go upstairs and make love'
And you answer:
'Pick one, I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
On your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot!

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ....
And your pacemaker opens the garage door!​


'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes
.. Just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down
By the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
.. In the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
To use the bathroom.

AND
'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You are not sure these are jokes!​
Click to expand...

Ouch. That hurt! :Biggrin:
 
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An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep crap now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.


"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!”


Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.


The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.

The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!”
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says........

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!”


Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
 
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SENIORS FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS
I went to my nearby Shoppers Drug Mart, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists' high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter. The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me

I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?

Seeing as I was a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along.
He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it around.
Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he was finally finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?"

The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"

I said, "Oh, thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!"

I am not allowed to go back to that Shoppers Drug Mart, but I really don't care,
because they aren't very friendly there anymore!
 
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