Hard to tell if this is from a book of
“Dumb Blonde Jokes”
or a book of
“Dumb things to say on a first date"
“Dumb Blonde Jokes”
or a book of
“Dumb things to say on a first date"
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billy bob and the trooper.
- Thread starter buckhorn76
- Start date
Hellova Deal ... but damn there's small print 
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The CIA is looking for a potential terrorist device, they suspect it will be well hidden. It is a large cylinder with fins and was painted green at one time. They asked the public that if you see it or anything suspicious please contact the CCF.
I ain't seen nothing but a C4.
I ain't seen nothing but a C4.
You just never know when you will need your hydrogen bomb...best be prepared.
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I think you guys are bomb shy... this is nothing more than a Corvette owner who wants a bit more "bolt on" propulsion from his C4...
I give him credit... Instead of strapping it to the roof like the kids nowadays would do, he lets the trailer do the pushing.....
You just never know when you will need your hydrogen bomb
Must be related to this guy:
Derek is wondering how much this would cost to do in Carbon Fibre
That's like when I got pulled over in the 401 on my way to Toronto.billy bob gets pulled over by a state trooper. trooper asks him " got any I.D.? " billy bob replies " bout whut ? "
The cop asks me if I had any idea of how fast I was going???
I asked him if he did not know then why the hell did he stop me.
Then he goes and says I have half a mind to give you a ticket.
I told him to use the other half.
He let me go with a warning to slow down.
... a booster rocket perhaps you are bang (pun) on .... the trailer releases at high speed and just the “capsule” continues onI think you guys are bomb shy... this is nothing more than a Corvette owner who wants a bit more "bolt on" propulsion from his C4...
I give him credit... Instead of strapping it to the roof like the kids nowadays would do, he lets the trailer do the pushing.....
..... Soooo ..... proof that it does matter what rubber one uses ..... 
... what ?
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The guys at the golf course asked me to name an actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators.
...I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.
I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators.
...I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'A: 'Yes sir, we do!'Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'A: 'Yes, sir.'Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'A: 'Yes sir, we do!'Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'A: 'Yes, sir.'Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai .
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site: (... Total silence)
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site: (... Total silence)
Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?
"Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."
"Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."
Definition: "GOOD GRIEF"
oxymoron - "a predictable occurrence of
prolonged despair (Grief) resulting from Corvette Ownership (Good)
that occurs annually
between the months of October and April "
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