I'm upset with Banking Fees 
...
and it's very difficult to find out who I can complain to.
...and it's very difficult to find out who I can complain to.
billy bob and the trooper.
- Thread starter buckhorn76
- Start date
We'd like to welcome five new attendees tonight ...
New C5er
Power User
New C5er
Power User
New C5er
Power User
New C5er
Power User
New C5er
Power User
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop-off.
On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable
to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?
answer below...
GET OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND AND GO HOME YOU OLD FART,
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH CANNABIS FOR ONE DAY!
Apologies in advance ... for the politics and continuance of venting Alberta's 2019 reality
Last edited by a moderator:
LE BARON
Power User
LE BARON
Power User
LE BARON
Power User
12cents
Power User
Sometimes the word arrangement in church bulletins is unintentionally humourous. These are all supposedly authentic and taken directly from various churches.
- This afternoon there will be meetings in the South and North end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday at 4:00PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
- Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnston will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
- Thursday at 5:00PM, there will be a meeting of the little mothers club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will meet with the minister in his study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
- The service will close with "Little drops of water", one of the men will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind and they can be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.
- On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All wishing to do something on the carpet please come forward and get a piece of paper.
- This afternoon there will be meetings in the South and North end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday at 4:00PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
- Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnston will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
- Thursday at 5:00PM, there will be a meeting of the little mothers club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will meet with the minister in his study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
- The service will close with "Little drops of water", one of the men will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind and they can be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.
- On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All wishing to do something on the carpet please come forward and get a piece of paper.
LE BARON
Power User
Might get booted off for this one. But it is the truth!
LE BARON
Power User
The Importance of a Space
A secretary got an expensive brand-named pen as a gift from her boss as a
Christmas present.
She sent him a 'Thank you note' by e-mail.
The boss's wife read the e-mail and filed for divorce.
The e-mail said:
"Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has an extraordinary
smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I
was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot."
Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar.
A secretary got an expensive brand-named pen as a gift from her boss as a
Christmas present.
She sent him a 'Thank you note' by e-mail.
The boss's wife read the e-mail and filed for divorce.
The e-mail said:
"Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has an extraordinary
smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I
was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot."
Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar.
LE BARON
Power User
Dearest One,
I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, and beg me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be so relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I’m finished with you, you will be weak for many days.
All my love,
The Flu
P.S. Now all you senior citizens, stop thinking about sex and go get your flu shot!
I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed, and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, and beg me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be so relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I’m finished with you, you will be weak for many days.
All my love,
The Flu
P.S. Now all you senior citizens, stop thinking about sex and go get your flu shot!
12cents
Power User
Don't know if this one is already on here or not.
Why did the cell phone spend two in minutes in the penalty box......
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.
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It received 10 minutes for charging
Why did the cell phone spend two in minutes in the penalty box......
.
.
.
.
.
It received 10 minutes for charging
