billy bob and the trooper.

Here is one for you.


A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask and she hears him ask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please, please, check for me?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen.... very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
 
Black 03 Z06 said:
Here is one for you.


A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask and she hears him ask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please, please, check for me?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen.... very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
Click to expand...
ok..... 1) I can't believe today is the first time I've opened this forum ....2) I can't believe I've just spent the last hour reading back for Gawwd knows how many months of posts.....and 3) I can't believe how many times I have heard this one in the past Murray and still laugh my ass off at it again.... Gotta love CCF.....

Eric
 
I agree Doug you done good. Lots of laughs in this thread.
 
CCO said:
It'll run as long as we have a sense of humour........pretty sure that'll be forever:)

Nice to see that everyone enjoys it. It's one of the best threads we have.

C.
Click to expand...
Totally agree.... Bad Ass thread..... and speaking of.....
Raccoon alligator.jpg
 
That is one brave racoon. That shot must have been taken in Alberta.:D

Good one Eric.
 
Oldie, shamelessly stolen from another site.

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Hahahaha!
 
buckhorn76 said:
is that the racoon that went to the vet complaining about the wart on his paw ???
Click to expand...
Ohhhhh....that was baaaaaaadddd..... but still good...... lol.... ok... on the same wavelength...

A moose walks into a bar in Alberta.... Bartender asks: Hey... why the long face....
 

THE POTTY...

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS
HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE
BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT, ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS
OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND
AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.



HIS MOTHER SAYS, "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."
BILLY SAYS, "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET."
MOTHER SAYS, "OKAY, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT BILLY,
WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"






BILLY SAYS, "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."
 
I actually had to think for a brief moment on that... must be a dead brain cell day for me.... lol.... not gonna win joke of the year Murray but made me laugh.... and this will come to mind everytime I open a new bottle of ketchup..... not sure if that's a good thing..... hahahahahaha....
 

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