billy bob and the trooper.

Thanks Tony:


------------------------------
A definition worth remembering:



There's an annual contest at the Bond University in Queensland, Australia, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.



This year's chosen term was "Political Correctness".



The winning student wrote:



"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of s**t by the clean end".



.......The most truthful words ever spoken
 
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he
wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that read "I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from
lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
"Your wife called...she wants her sign back!"
 
Nice. :D

Likely True.
 
boB E said:
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he
wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that read "I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from
lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
"Your wife called...she wants her sign back!"
Click to expand...

At first, when I started reading' I tought you were talking about me :rofl::rofl:
 
VIC'S FUNERAL



Vic works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vic! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.

"Oh no," says Vic. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vic
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vic, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vic's wife, now furious,
Grabs her handbag and
Storms out of the club.

Vic follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.

Vic tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Vic, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

----------------


VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD
THIS COMING FRIDAY.
 
Sex at 73

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,

informing me that I can have sex at 73.

I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have to cross the road!:nono:
 

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