billy bob and the trooper.

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.



After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.



By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.





All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and

scoldedhis wife relentlessly during theentire return drive. The more he chidedher, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,



"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."





This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week.

You can do YOUR part by remembering to contact at least oneunstable Senior to show you care.



I have now done MY part















.
 
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings:



1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.



2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.



3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.



4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.



5. Always drink upstream from the herd.



6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.



7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.



8. There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.



9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.



10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.



11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.



12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.



ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.



Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.



Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.



Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.



Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.



Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.



Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.



Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.



Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.



Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.



And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
 
I've come to the age where I am bragging about turning 68 in the spring...................and that I don't look a day over 72. :D
s**t, looking back, I think someone stole a bunch of years in the middle somewhere there. Any of you guys notice that?
 
Not quite bragging about it yet, tho I'm not far behind you Keith.(67 in August).

I have noticed how quick the years tick off the older I get.
Stay busy and vital -- you may live to 100......

C.
 
Ur not alone!----I'm 67 as well. ----The better half tells me that as I get older I don't listen to her as well-----or sumpthin' like that!
 
A picture is worth a 1000 words they say:
Think I see Doug in there, maybe Wayne also:


1604780_10151906148861219_1924074961_n.jpg
 
That home must be for the younger guys. Us older guys argue over Johnny Rivers, B.J. Thomas, Beatles, Dave Clarke Five, Petula Clarke, The Shadowns and the like. :boxing_smiley:
 
I would like to see him make disappear the little bump on the rear door of my caravan and make appear headers on my vette while sitting and having a coffee!!!! Does that sound like Manny's tricks???

forgot the quote, go to next message
 
Last edited:
theboss said:
I would like to see him make disappear the little bump on the rear door of my caravan and make appear headers on my vette while sitting and having a coffee!!!! Does that sound like Manny's tricks???
Click to expand...

LOL, yes Manny and his crew have some similar tricks for sure....:D

C.
 
Mathematics

Check this math class out from our friend in Welland:

C.

_________________________________________________




Mathematics:
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there.
Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top