billy bob and the trooper.

A few years ago when I was a tool room group leader in the Oshawa truck plant, there was the boss over engineeering who would come down to the tool room quite often. He had a farm south-west of the Mosport race track. John got to know that I too had grown up on a farm. I told him a couple old farm jokes and that started the ball rolling. He would come down to the tool room on business. When that was done, he would come over and ask me what the farmer joke was for today. I'd tell him some dumb old joke and he would go away chuckling to himself. People must have wondered what he was thinking as he walked back up through the plant smiling to himself. Work wasn't all that funny. Hopefully I made his day a little more enjoyable. That's what these jokes are all about, putting a smile on someone's face.
 
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: #1 - it had never been occupied; #2 - there was plenty of heat; and #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that: #1 - it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

"Dear Sir: #1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.

#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady."
 
Keith Tedford said:
It's pretty handy for turning a truck full of brush into a wheel barrow full of chips. We have lots of trees to keep trimmed back so the old machine does get a workout. Your ash joke reminds me of how they get rid of elephants. They dig a big deep hole then cover the bottom with ashes. They lead the elephant up to the edge then go around behind and kick him right in the ash hole. Boooooo. It is Omemee type of humour though.:rofl:
Click to expand...

around buckhorn y'all don't wanna get caught doin that outta' season. works good though, i could'nt tell ya the last time i saw an elephant 'round here !!!
 
The way I heard it was, you put ashes in the bottom and sprinkle peas all around the edge. When the Elephant goes for a pea, you kick him in the ash hole
 
New C5er said:
Sometimes we forget how fortunate we are!

This site shows the devastation of Typhoon Haiyan before and after, just move your mouse over the pictures from right to left!

Typhoon Haiyan Before & After - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
Click to expand...

Very cool effect with the cursor, Al.....Tho the devastation is very sad.
Poor people.
Yes we are very lucky. Sometimes our trivialities get the better of us and we don't realize how lucky we are.

Thanks for the post Al.....It certainly makes one think.
Colin
 
Al (NewC5er)sent me this picture and I'm wondering if it's the snow at his house.
If it is it's a good thing you have a snow blower Al.

 
Not our house Colin. The only precipitation we get tons of is rain out here. That picture came from our weather network, and I forgot to include that I think it's somewhere in Ontario.
 
New C5er said:
Not our house Colin. The only precipitation we get tons of is rain out here. That picture came from our weather network, and I forgot to include that I think it's somewhere in Ontario.
Click to expand...

Thankfully nowhere near my house.
Poor Greg -- he's got a real 'project' there.
I haven't seen drifts like that here for many many years and hope I never do again.

C.
 
It's supposed to hit mid 50s here today. The little bit of snow that we do have will be pretty well all gone bu tonight. That's fine with me. Cabin fever set in a while back but the lunch at the airport saved my sanity and that of a few others too I think. The 18th, our next lunch day, can't come quick enough. :)
 

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