gone
Power User
I love the name
But dang it, the name canāt
Be used by the Edmonton Eskimos now.
... or may our future is ...
āTonight on TSN, The Toronto Hockey Team plays The Montreal Hockey Team while out West the Battle of Alberta with The Edmonton Hockey Team and the Calgary Hockey Teamā.
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But isn't labelling a team with a geographical name, prejudicial and favouring the City or "whatever else" name is used? Just imagine if we were to call the Edmonton Oilers, the "Edmonton Hockey Team". At the very least that will grievously insult all of the myriad junior hockey teams or leagues that hail from Edmonton, so they can rightfully start a Class Action and sue the "Edmonton Hockey Team" and/or obtain a "Cease and Desist Order" prohibiting the NHL team from using that name.
Come to think of it, how can the NHL use those shortened initials? Won't that offend the National Women's League (Australian football team) or people who suffer from non-Hodgkin lymphoma to take two quick examples, or any other group who has a name which "translates" into "NHL". Terrible!!
I think in our ongoing effort to erase all history and ensure the entire world starts anew with a wonderful fresh perspective that can offend no one, regardless of whether you're a minority of one, we should refrain from using ANY names at all. So from now on, all teams get a number. Then expand that to all people and places and everything else in the world. Numbers are the perfect solution: they're gender neutral and endless, so we can rename everything with its unique descriptor and the world will once again rotate properly on its axis and in total harmony.
ALL negative connotations associated with any names will completely disappear overnight. Imagine the utopia we'll all live in!
But then we need to differentiate a regular number from a number that names something. So let's put the word "Name" at the front of each number that designates a person, place or team or...whatever. But to be careful and not put too much importance on the "Name" meaning, let's ensure it's forever in lower case: "name".
I suppose I should start with me. I thought of this brilliant solution to all the world's problems so I'll be "name1". Who's next?
BUT WAIT. I might be perceived to be elevating my importance with what's arguably the #1 designation for the use of this method. So we can't have that in a world where every person and thing is equal. So let's start the numbering at 1,000,000 which makes me "name1,000,000".
BUT WAIT. Such a long name might be seen as taking up too much space and when we number all of the almost 8,000,000,000 people in the world, to say nothing about all of the endless geographical locations and teams, etc. then we're going to be using some REALLY LONG NUMBERS. That will take up lots of space on maps, encyclopedias, directories and all other sorts of paper which will encourage waste and kill more trees which provide the world's oxygen and sustain life on our planet. Just imagine asking your grandchild to teleport you to a specific street on the Mars colony and saying take me to "name9,832,334,196,739,021" which will be its correct name. How cumbersome! So now that you consider all angles, this turns out to be a BAD solution.
BUT WAIT. If we continue in the long-sought after goal of going paperless and thus allow ALL the world's trees to survive unscathed, so we need not worry about long numbers taking up space on paper, so maybe just maybe, this solution will work.
BUT WAIT, not everyone on the planet can afford computers or don't have access to the internet so they're unable to take advantage of or participate with this new system. As well, the production of computers and all associated hardware, takes untold amounts of energy and resources from our planet, which all contributes to Global Warming and moves us ever closer to extinction.
So now we're back to square one. Sigh, I give up.
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