Good one Colin.....
billy bob and the trooper.
- Thread starter buckhorn76
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #582
Awesome Doug!! Great tune!!!!
DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR
BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.
I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the
Shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly
On the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start
Showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. Its label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR
BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.
I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the
Shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly
On the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start
Showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. Its label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!
LOL, good ones boys. (Doug, I was sinin' right along with Snake Oil Willie.)
C.
C.
Better get out and get me some dish soap for the shower! 
- Thread starter
- #587
do people use shampoo when they're all out of real poo ???
You and Ray's jokes don't get any better. 
That was a great get together. Ray certainly enjoyed himself with everyone. It's nice to see that Murray actually has a black, '05, Z06 Corvette. NICE with the new wheels from Manny.
That was a great get together. Ray certainly enjoyed himself with everyone. It's nice to see that Murray actually has a black, '05, Z06 Corvette. NICE with the new wheels from Manny.
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- Thread starter
- #589
i heard rumours that ontario premier kathleen wynne has decreed that home construction will no longer be traditional stud framing.......all tongue and groove now !!!
You're always good for a laugh Doug -- Thanks.
LOL, the pooches are lookin' at me like I'm bananas tho --
C.
In honour of Robin Williams and some of the things that made us laugh.........
Famous Quotes by Robin Williams | Quotes Daddy
Famous Quotes by Robin Williams | Quotes Daddy
........guess which quote I took note of first:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?'
She asked.
'Hunting Flies'
He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone
husband stalking with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?'
She asked.
'Hunting Flies'
He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine
restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress,
taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the
woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man
stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and
out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it
might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by
saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under
the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: .........."No, she didn't. She
just walked in."
restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress,
taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the
woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man
stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and
out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it
might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by
saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under
the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: .........."No, she didn't. She
just walked in."
A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted
a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager
to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want
to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic
straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its
heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in,
and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically
the same work?
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic.
"Try doing it with the engine running."
a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager
to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want
to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic
straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its
heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in,
and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically
the same work?
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic.
"Try doing it with the engine running."
LOL, good one Al.
C.
C.
Hahaha! Good way to end a Friday at work!
A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel up to Canada to see if Canadians had the same phone.
He arrived in Canada, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked a priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Canada now, son ... it's a local call.'
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel up to Canada to see if Canadians had the same phone.
He arrived in Canada, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked a priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Canada now, son ... it's a local call.'
This is one of the best pranks I've seen, what a lot of work
https://www.youtube.com/embed/HG_wfMK7dko?rel=0
https://www.youtube.com/embed/HG_wfMK7dko?rel=0
I don't know how to post vids here, but if you want a good laugh, search for the "hot crazy matrix" on youtube. Laughing my ass off a week later at this.....