Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog s**t" Then I would say, "It is dog s**t. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

I used the Prime Minister Trudeau method of of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."
 
Three blokes die on Xmas eve and go to heaven, St Perter says if you can show me one thing you have on you to do with Xmas you can come in.
1st bloke holds up a lighter and says it represents a candle.

2nd bloke waves his keys and says they represent sleigh bells.

3rd bloke holds up a bra and panties, “what on earth has that got to do with Xmas ?” Asks St Peter

They’re Carols
 
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