billy bob and the trooper.

Rruuff Day said:
I think with having a PM that acts like a chimp, that real chimps should actually be allowed to fill that position.
Click to expand...
Haha, I was seriously waiting for Trudeau to comment at the end or something..... good set up Rruuff! I guess if I really thought about it, I would have quickly realized that Trudeau only starts counting from 1 Billion and up, so he wouldn't have been part of anything to do with peanuts! Silly me!
P.S. if this doesn't qualify to be in the Billy Bob thread, let me know and Ill come back and add a Cat video or something!
 
Morby said:
Haha, I was seriously waiting for Trudeau to comment at the end or something..... good set up Rruuff! I guess if I really thought about it, I would have quickly realized that Trudeau only starts counting from 1 Billion and up, so he wouldn't have been part of anything to do with peanuts! Silly me!
P.S. if this doesn't qualify to be in the Billy Bob thread, let me know and Ill come back and add a Cat video or something!
Click to expand...
All good. This thread is pretty loosie goosie... We might get frowned on by the PM lovers out there but as long as it doesn't turn into a bashing party, I have no problem.
 
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Rruuff Day said:
I think with having a PM that acts like a chimp, that real chimps should actually be allowed to fill that position.
Click to expand...
They didn't say how the human was being rewarded. Might make a big difference. LOL
Get the chimps in to the finance dept. They might do a better job toting up the figures to tell us we are up the creek without a paddle
 
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The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man
around that they offered a standing $1000.00 bet. The bartender would
squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon
to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would
win the money.

Many people had tried.... over time: weightlifters, football & hockey
players, but nobody could do it.

One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to
try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK"; grabbed the
lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the
rind to the little fellow. But the Crowd's laughter turned to total
silence.... as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon.... and
six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000.00 and asked the
little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a
weight-lifter, or what?"

The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for Revenue Canada."
 
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21-04-suddenly-clarence-meme-taxes.jpg
 
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New C5er said:
A friend told the blonde, "Christmas is on a Friday this year...."

The blonde then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."


Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a

police station.

One asked, "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says, "We'll lie and say we only found two."


A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk.

Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the

road.

The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
Click to expand...
LOL
 
Black 03 Z06 said:
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man
around that they offered a standing $1000.00 bet. The bartender would
squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon
to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would
win the money.

Many people had tried.... over time: weightlifters, football & hockey
players, but nobody could do it.

One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to
try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK"; grabbed the
lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the
rind to the little fellow. But the Crowd's laughter turned to total
silence.... as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon.... and
six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000.00 and asked the
little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a
weight-lifter, or what?"

The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for Revenue Canada."
Click to expand...
LOL
 
New C5er said:
An old,blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
Click to expand...
🤩🤩🤩
 
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My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.
Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.
After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.
> As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
> About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
> We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
> Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.>
> Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.>
> The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free Her (Try to get a mental picture of this.)>
> Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
>
> The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......I just never saw one mounted and framed."
> c
 
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