billy bob and the trooper.

[YFCvii]

 

[Rruuff Day]

I probably post this every year at spring ahead and fall back time but so what...... new members should see it too.... lol...

A wise Indian man (now called indigenous) once said: "It's only the white man who thinks he can take a blanket, cut a foot off one end, sew it on the other end....... and think that now he has a longer blanket...."

 

[YFCvii]

St. P Day today ....

 

[Black 03 Z06]

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood in shock as the chicken hurled out of the barrel,
crashed into the shatterproof windshield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console,
snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo - - -
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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"DEFROST THE DAMN CHICKEN FIRST." . . .

 

[New C5er]

A cowboy named Bob was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta when a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Bob looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" He parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple ipad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on hishi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bob. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bob says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Member of Parliament for Justin Trudeau's Government", says Bob. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollar's worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep." "Now give me back my dog." AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

 

[Black 03 Z06]

Last week I had a strange ticking noise in my LS6. Nothing major I am sure but a bit concerned in any case. It just does not look right.

 

[LE BARON]

Last week I had a strange ticking noise in my LS6. Nothing major I am sure but a bit concerned in any case. It just does not look right.


View attachment 24940

Either it is a faulty casting or you tried to mimic the Viking ship that lost power this last week.

 

[Rruuff Day]

Last week I had a strange ticking noise in my LS6. Nothing major I am sure but a bit concerned in any case. It just does not look right.


View attachment 24940

Ouch.... that's just nasty Murray but you were ready for a bump up in power anyway. I think that 755 HP LT5 will slip right in there...

 

[theboss]

Have you consider a can of Bardhal #2 ??? These additives are suppose to do miracles

 

[LE BARON]

 

[LE BARON]

 

[LE BARON]

 

[LE BARON]

 

[LE BARON]

 

[LE BARON]

 

[YFCvii]

 

[YFCvii]

Oh my .... ... Auto Soccer

 

[Black 03 Z06]

Spence it says video unavailable.

 

[YFCvii]

Spence it says video unavailable.

I am not sure ... some get to see it and some don't ... its a you tube video of "automobile soccer"

hXXps://youtu.be/KRt4_lsTUJw (copy & paste & replace the "XX" with "tt")

 

[New C5er]

Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke? Go ahead and try it.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it’s only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going? (taxes)

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is “bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?