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Rodney Dangerfield

CCO

Old Timer
Aug 5, 2011
7,851
108
Cambridge ON
VetteCoins
1,003
Car
2006 vert, 1994 vert
Some of you out there will say "WHO?" -- never heard of him......
Others will remember him lovingly and find some of this old hat.
Here's a taste of some of his humour:

_________________________________

Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield


>> Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield...........
>>
>> Because he said ....
>>
>> My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
>>
>> Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
>>
>> Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
>>
>> A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
>>
>> A hooker once told me she had a headache.
>>
>> I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
>>
>> If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
>>
>> I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
>>
>> I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
>>
>> I knew a girl so ugly... They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
>>
>> My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
>>
>> I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
>>
>> The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
>>
>> My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
>>
>> I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
>>
>> My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
>>
>> My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.
>>
>> MY FAVORITE:
>>
>> My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
 

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