STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM I would have given him 100% for his wit!!!
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * His last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* At the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* Liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* Marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* Exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
*The other half
Q8.If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
*You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
The guy in the sanding truck should have let it come 180 degrees around at 1:24 halfway down the hill. Sander was going and would have sanded enough for him to get stopped going backwards I bet.
Ya know, I always thought doing advertising promotion set-ups would be a cool career... Never did it but pretty sure I could have done a better job than this one.... This was an actual ad on Google home page.... gave me a laugh...
Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words:
"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!
Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"
Reminds me of surveying a pipeline in northern Alberta. My chain man and I were running line through the bush when a black bear came charging down over the hill. Told my helper to stand tall, raise and wave his arms and yell really loud. The bear came fairly close and then raised up on his hind legs, let out a roar, pivoted and took off in the other direction. After we got our hearts beating again. my chainman asked me what I would have done if he'd kept on coming? I said we had a machete and he looked at me and asked if I would take on the bear with just a machete. I said no... All I had to do was slice your hamstring and I would walk away and have been fine..... He tried to laugh but he wasn't really sure I I was serious or not...Lucky for him he never to find out...