CCO

CCO

Old Timer
Aug 5, 2011
7,851
108
Cambridge ON
VetteCoins
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2006 vert, 1994 vert
and some serious food for thought:





I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
**************************************************

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
**************************************************

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
**************************************************

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*
Stress is when wife is pregnant,*
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*
and Panic is when both are pregnant.*
**************************************************

A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"*
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these
are customer complaints".
**************************************************

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"*
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."
**************************************************

Nominated as the best short joke this year...
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
 
here's a few that will make you smile:
Enjoy--

________________________


STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

(I would have given him 100%)

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?


* his last battle


Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?


* at the bottom of the page


Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?



* liquid


Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?



* marriage


Q5. What is the main reason for failure?


* exams


Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?


* Lunch & dinner


Q7. What looks like half an apple?


* The other half


Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?


* It will simply become wet


Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?


* No problem, he sleeps at night.


Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?



* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..


Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?



* Very large hands


Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?



* No time at all, the wall is already built.


Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?



*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack
 
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