Good morning Jenny,
I'm actually feeling OK. I mean the arm sucks but that is just part of my life and I have to live the rest of it while this moves along.
So currently trying to survive my son and three of his friends who were over for a sleepover last night, XBox'ing, hide and seek (yes at 13 still) and watching sort of rude movies on YouTube (The Brothers Grimsby). Lots of yelling and shouting but overall a good group of boys, all good students, polite, they clean up after themselves and have the TV room and kitchen policed up which I appreciate. Plus my son knows he would be faced with cleaning it up himself so he tends to make sure they all pitch in. They made their own supper (subs) and I made breakfast (scrambled eggs and fried salami).
I have some grain to deliver this week, hopefully on Friday and it looks like Dad, Uncle John and cousin John are going to load it and haul it for me. The grain is all in hopper bins so there is no shovelling or anything like that but if they can do it without me then it means I get to stay here with my son. The elevator is only 4 miles from the farm too so it is not a long haul. I always am happy when grain gets hauled in as of course that is when you get paid but also then you don't have to worry about it possibly spoiling any more.
I read, exercise and parent. Yesterday was a long discussion about banks, investing etc. My son has an account that I opened for him when he was born and so all the gift money etc. goes in there and after 13 years he had $2200 plus another $1000 at home. So we discussed interest rates, GIC's and so forth and went to the bank and got him a 12 month GIC. I explained to him that while he was getting 0.1% interest on his savings account he could get 1.9% on the GIC. But he also had to be sure that he didn't have a need for the money over the next 12 months or he'd lose the interest and have to pay a penalty to get it out early. Life's lesson's, right? What is the right approach with $3000 works just the same if it is $13,000 or $30,000. So I hope he'll become a wise manager of money.
I'm worried about the spring seeding. With my arm the way it is I worry about keeping it clean, finding a sleeve that it will fit into and of course the date of surgery relative to when seeding happens - both May at this point. I'd like my gf to come with me of course but she also usually operates my 2nd seed drill and so I also need her to stay behind to seed - that will be emotionally better for me to know seeding is still taking place while I am under the knife. Dad has to stay behind to take care of mechanical and logistical things - bringing seed and fertilizer to her.
I talked with my son about how he feels about me having cancer but he doesn't seem to dwell on it. Sure he is aware that it could kill me but I've also told him that it would not be the sort of thing that say the upcoming treatment doesn't work and I die the next day. It could be 6 months or 6 years or longer. So we take it one day at a time, spend the most time with each other that we can and hope that things go my way.
I mean I'd hate to think that I'll get the car cam'ed and tuned and only maybe get one summer to enjoy it after all!!
I give thanks on an ongoing basis for the amazing good fortune that I've had in my life. I think about how, if I'd lived my life differently, I'd be facing unemployment and possibly losing my house. I;ve come to realize over the past month especially that I don't think I'd be able to work my old job even if i wanted to. And if I had a mortgage how I'd be able to pay that. So overall, really, my life is pretty stress free compared to a lot of other folks. Certainly this is the result of planning to live my life this way, I got the outcomes that I wanted and I'm benefitting from that. But it didn't have to have gone that way. Every time I see a homeless person I am struck with the thought "but for the grace of God there go I".
About two months ago while in a Value Village I met a guy who was homeless, was being treated for bone cancer and was $4 short on being able to get winter boots for himself. He approached mom in the parking lot and she came to talk to me and we took him back in and bought him his boots. $20 means nothing to me and hopefully he has warm feet and a bit of warm food with the $16. Sure some people may be the authors of their own misfortune but there are a lot of people with mental health issues, who lose their jobs and have just hit a brick wall. I've ended up with so so much in my life that the least I can do to help others and to not stand in judgement................
So that is how I'm doing this morning!!
I am glad I woke up this morning, my son and gf are with me and I love them so much.
Like I say, I'm the world's luckiest SOB!
Cheers,
Garry