Would you please try to use less harsh words next time, try writing it like:
Greetings my fellow friends, I joyfully announce that my presence will return this fine year of 2009. I regretfully inform you all that you may find me relieving myself in your Corn Flakes, however, since I realize this, I would just like to thank you in advance for supporting my bi-polar buttocks through future events.
I hope you enjoy your new home here.