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billy bob and the trooper.
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<blockquote data-quote="New C5er" data-source="post: 119961" data-attributes="member: 1335"><p><strong>"Never Squat With Your Spurs On!" - Will Rogers.</strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p><strong>(Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot, Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political/country/cowboy sages ever known.)</strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p><strong>Some of his sayings:</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>1.</strong> <strong>Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>2.</strong></strong> <strong>Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>3.</strong></strong> <strong>There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>4.</strong></strong> <strong>Never miss a good chance to shut up.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>5.</strong></strong> <strong>Always drink upstream from the herd.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>6.</strong></strong> <strong>If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>7.</strong></strong> <strong>The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>8.</strong></strong> <strong>There are three kinds of men:</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>The ones that learn by reading.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>The few who learn by observation.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>9.</strong></strong> <strong>Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>10.</strong></strong> <strong>If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>11.</strong></strong> <strong>Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n than puttin' it back in.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>12.</strong></strong> <strong>After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>The moral</strong></strong> <strong>: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.</strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p><strong>ABOUT GROWING OLDER ...</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>First ~</strong> <strong>Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Second ~</strong></strong> <strong>The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Third ~</strong></strong> <strong>Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Fourth ~</strong></strong> <strong>When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra ...</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Fifth ~</strong></strong> <strong>You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Sixth ~</strong></strong> <strong>I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Seventh ~ </strong>One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it’s such a nice change from being young.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Eight ~</strong></strong> <strong>One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Ninth ~</strong></strong> <strong>Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong>Tenth ~</strong></strong> <strong>Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>And, finally ~</strong> <strong>If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.</strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>--</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New C5er, post: 119961, member: 1335"] [B]"Never Squat With Your Spurs On!" - Will Rogers.[/B] [B](Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot, Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political/country/cowboy sages ever known.)[/B] [B]Some of his sayings:[/B] [B]1.[/B] [B]Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.[/B] [B] [B]2.[/B][/B] [B]Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.[/B] [B] [B]3.[/B][/B] [B]There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.[/B] [B] [B]4.[/B][/B] [B]Never miss a good chance to shut up.[/B] [B] [B]5.[/B][/B] [B]Always drink upstream from the herd.[/B] [B] [B]6.[/B][/B] [B]If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.[/B] [B] [B]7.[/B][/B] [B]The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.[/B] [B] [B]8.[/B][/B] [B]There are three kinds of men:[/B] [B]The ones that learn by reading.[/B] [B]The few who learn by observation.[/B] [B]The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.[/B] [B] [B]9.[/B][/B] [B]Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.[/B] [B] [B]10.[/B][/B] [B]If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.[/B] [B] [B]11.[/B][/B] [B]Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n than puttin' it back in.[/B] [B] [B]12.[/B][/B] [B]After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.[/B] [B] [B]The moral[/B][/B] [B]: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.[/B] [B]ABOUT GROWING OLDER ...[/B] [B]First ~[/B] [B]Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.[/B] [B] [B]Second ~[/B][/B] [B]The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.[/B] [B] [B]Third ~[/B][/B] [B]Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.[/B] [B] [B]Fourth ~[/B][/B] [B]When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra ...[/B] [B] [B]Fifth ~[/B][/B] [B]You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.[/B] [B] [B]Sixth ~[/B][/B] [B]I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.[/B] [B] [B]Seventh ~ [/B]One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it’s such a nice change from being young.[/B] [B] [B]Eight ~[/B][/B] [B]One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.[/B] [B] [B]Ninth ~[/B][/B] [B]Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.[/B] [B] [B]Tenth ~[/B][/B] [B]Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.[/B] [B]And, finally ~[/B] [B]If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.[/B] -- [/QUOTE]
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