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<blockquote data-quote="CCO" data-source="post: 21957" data-attributes="member: 970"><p>A bit long but you might enjoy it.</p><p> </p><p> This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!</p><p></p><p>_____________________________</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?</p><p>Customer: A white one...</p><p>Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.</p><p>Customer: Your left or my left?</p><p>****************************</p><p> </p><p>Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. </p><p>I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..</p><p>****************************</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?</p><p>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.</p><p>****************************</p><p>Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.</p><p>Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?</p><p>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.</p><p>Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.</p><p>Customer: ! OK</p><p>Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?</p><p>Customer: Yes</p><p>Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.</p><p>****************************</p><p>Customer: I can't get on the Internet.</p><p>Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?</p><p>Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.</p><p>Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?</p><p>Customer: Five dots.</p><p>****************************</p><p>Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?</p><p>Customer: Netscape.</p><p>Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.</p><p>Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..</p><p>****************************</p><p>Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,</p><p>but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.</p><p>****************************</p><p>Tech support: How may I help you?</p><p>Customer: I'm writing my first email.</p><p>Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?</p><p>Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?</p><p>**************************** </p><p>This one and the next are our personal favorites!</p><p>A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.</p><p>Tech support: Are you running it under windows?</p><p>Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.</p><p>The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'</p><p>****************************</p><p>And last but not least!</p><p>Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.</p><p> That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.</p><p> Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'</p><p>Customer: I don't have a P.</p><p>Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.</p><p>Customer: What do you mean?</p><p>Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.</p><p>Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CCO, post: 21957, member: 970"] A bit long but you might enjoy it. This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! _____________________________ Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? **************************** Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.. **************************** Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. **************************** Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: ! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. **************************** Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots. **************************** Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.. **************************** Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. **************************** Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first email. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? **************************** This one and the next are our personal favorites! A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' **************************** And last but not least! Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! [/QUOTE]
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